For many, the reaction is grief. It is similar to finding out a very close family member has suddenly died.

Like grieving the death of a family member, a wife first confronted by her husband's sexual sin may endure a wide range of emotions over a long period of time. She will feel deep sorrow, disbelief, and anger. There may be long periods of depression or just a feeling of being "out of touch" with everything, going through the motions of an everyday routine with a sense of deep loss inside. Even special events or times that used to be joyful suddenly may change to times of distress, weeping, or anger over what has been lost. It is a very painful, emotional time which may continue for years.

This is made more difficult in that the one person to whom a wife should turn for comfort, her husband, is the same person who has hurt her. A wife on one hand may long to be with him for comfort, but at the same time despise him for having hurt her so deeply.