I've just discovered my husband's (or son's) sexual sin. Should I question or confront him about this? How?

Matthew 18:15 reads, "Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault..." We are commanded to confront a believer who has sinned against us.
    Perhaps the most important aspect in confronting another person is to do so with the right heart attitude. Galatians 6:1 says, "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted." Notice the word "restore." Your goal in confronting another is not to see yourself be justified, nor to get back at the other person, nor to humiliate him, but to see the offender restored, back in a right relationship with God and with others. Your focus is his restoration.
    In doing the restoring, Galatians 6:1 also says you must be "spiritual." This appears immediately after Paul's famous verses on the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). In saying "ye which are spiritual," Paul is saying that you must be walking in the Spirit, filled with the fruits of the Spirit, as you confront the other person. You are to restore him depending on the Holy Spirit and displaying one fruit in particular, the fruit of meekness. What is meekness? One description comes from 2 Timothy 2:24-25, "And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, in meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth." You are not to strive against the one who has sinned, but patiently, gently, use the word of God to confront him and then pray that His truth, not insistence, anger, or threats, will bring him to repentance and restoration.
    James 1:19-20 warns against having the wrong heart attitude. "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." Your goal is to see your husband or son restored to a right relationship with God and others. It is impossible to do this through anger, for "the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." Anger may be able to change his actions, but it will not bring about righteousness and will fall short of the goal of restoration.
    Dependent on the Holy Spirit for the right heart attitude, you now can follow the process Jesus gave us in Matthew 18:15-17. "Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican."

Therefore we can summarize confrontation according to these six points:

  1. Confrontation must be done.
  2. Its focus must be the restoration of the offender.
  3. It must be done in a spirit of meekness, not anger, depending on God's word and the Holy Spirit to bring about repentance.
  4. It is first done once, not repeatedly, one on one.
  5. If there is no acknowledgment of sin, it is done again with one or two others who, in a spirit of meekness and depending on God's word, will seek the restoration of the offender also.
  6. If there still is no acknowledgment of sin, it is done again before the church (or an appropriate representative body of the church).
How do I forgive him?
Is it possible to trust him again?
How does a wife typically react when she finds out about her husband's sexual sin?
Is there any hope to overcome sexual sin?
What resources are available to help overcome sexual sin?

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